즐거운 성탄! Merry Xmas a la Korean

Christmas is a big scam and we love it! It’s like smoking a cigarette: it’s not good for you (or your wallet), but you are totally addicted and the thought of it is actually perfect (in reality, of course, it’s not).

The more gifts you get, or the more expensive gifts you receive, the happier you feel – people love you! Only a few of us don't even care about presents.

There’s also the “giving rush”; when you are shopping for everyone, feeling all excited about offering your friends and family presents you bought. For sure, they will think you are a giving person and you will revel in their joy.

In Korea, Christmas is growing. And I mean: it is GROWING! Not so long ago, this was just a religious holiday – as opposed to a commercial rip-off that lasts for 2 weeks in Occident.

But now, even on Jeju Island, there are Christmas trees, and palm trees are decorated as well. Department stores sell ornaments and stockings, while Santa is never too far away. Even Korean versions of our traditional Christmas Carols put you in the mood as you browse for more stuff to buy.


Nonetheless, most people only get a day off (25th) and the 26th is brutal. A lot of Koreans actually take a vacation around that time and try to escape the holiday madness – trading it for some quiet family time somewhere on a beach.

“Merry Christmas” is the same in Korean, and all the kids scream it as they expect their foreign teacher to give them more candy, and maybe a game day? They go “iiiiiiiiiouhhhhhh!!” as I tell them that people back home kiss under the mistletoe, and they make fun of the elves. They think Santa is FAT!


Santa’s beard is passed around, and I refuse to wear it after they have all drooled on it. We write a letter to Santa and they all ask for sweets and “give me big money”! As I look at them, so tiny, with their little feet not even touching the ground as they are sitting and trying to make a paper snowflake, my heart is just warm and I’m happy.


That night my friends and I go for Indian food (one of the only two ethnic restaurants on the island), and end up at the Blue Agave for a wild night during which alcohol both makes us happy, and amnesiac – we don’t want to think about what we’re missing back home, we just want to have fun.



It all ends with McDonald’s at 4am – sombrero, Corona and a ring? Christmas a la Mexican at the American embassy in Korea? Does it get any better than this? Where are my turkey, meat pie and stuffing? Where are the cranberries, mashed potatoes, red wine and dessert?


The next day is brutal – that is, nursing a hangover and wondering what the hell you’re doing on the other side of the planet?

The family calls and everyone’s happy; my sister is pregnant with twins, and my brother’s girlfriend is also with child. It’s a shock – feelings of joy and dire take over as you realized that you’re still just a kid and they’re all grown-up!

I won’t even be there to see their belly get bigger, bear the mood swings and bring them ice at the hospital. Last year I missed my grandma’s last days on earth. I also missed my sister’s wedding in Cuba.

How much more am I willing to miss on? If I went home in a few years, we probably wouldn’t even recognize each other!

I’m howling as we hang up – right after Dave tells me they’ve poured me a glass of wine, and mom says my picture is on the Christmas tree. Maybe the thought of home is better than actually being there, but I just want to be with them.

Christmas breakfast at my place – scrambled eggs, fried potatoes and fruit juice. My friend gives me a portable speaker for my computer. I cancel on the potluck i'm supposed to attend and try to get some rest. I need to think about all this.

My upstairs neighbors are strolling across the room. Bang. Bang. Bang. Are they fat? I have to wake up the next day at 7am and teach. Christmas sucks.

Ido Apartment Nightmare

Native English teachers in Korea pretty much all get the same deal: paid round-trip airfare, rent-free apartment and a big bonus at the end of the year-contract.

I recall my first few nights last year in Seoul, in a crappy dirty little apartment in Sinjeongnegori – a ghetto that would soon be demolished in order to get rid of the filthy buildings that had been erected there for way too many years. To be sure, the neighborhood was poor but homey, and it felt “traditional” with its street vendors, fruit markets and loudspeakers on trucks selling junk at 6am.


When the owner of my hagwon (academy) became aware of the situation, I was immediately moved into another apartment and my living condition was just perfect.

Unfortunately, my current experience in Jeju-do is far from being all right. I tell ya: Ido apartments (left) are a living hell!

It started when I first set foot in my flat – 25 hours of toddling between airports and airplanes in Canada and Korea, exhausted from my trip, I immediately felt sickened by the smell emanating from the thick wallpaper.

A month later and mold had already grown on most walls and the ceiling. It stunk really badly, and my health became an issue, as I was constantly sick for over 3 weeks. Many other of my friends also have that problem and hey are getting sicker.

After countless emails and phone calls to my employer, I finally sent an official letter to the big boss and I was immediately moved out of my apartment. Ironically, I was sent to Myle’s old place – the man who had stabbed my co-worker in the neck.

While the place is mold-free, it turns out it’s also impossible to get a good night sleep over there.

When it’s not the dogs barking in the middle of the night, it’s drunken Korean chicks coming home and hanging out in the hallway at 3am.

But the worst part is my upstairs neighbors. Oh. Seriously. I haven’t had such violent thoughts in years.

It usually starts around 3 or 4am. What are they doing? No idea. All I hear someone walking in high heals. Then the high heals are off and the person walks heavy across the room. Boom. Boom. Then they drop something, like a big box. They start walking again, strolling across the room. Boom. Boom. Boom. Something else is dropped.

It goes on and on until about 6am. That leaves me an hour of sleep before I have to get ready for work. Oh sweet Lord.

You can imagine that I’ve tried everything. Knocking on the ceiling with a broom? They don’t even care. Knocking on their door? They won’t answer. Banging their door for 5 minutes? No big deal – the door is still shut, the noises keep going, and I am angrier than ever.

But last night was even worse. Indeed, we’ve had quite a few celebrations for Christmas and I need sleep so bad.

I went to bed at 9pm. My upstairs neighbors were already noisy. It lasted until 6am this morning. I tried wearing earplugs … didn’t work. I put headphones on top of my earplugs, with some classical music on. Nothing. I could still hear it. Boom. Boom. Boom.

I dropped by my friend’s apartment around 3am and slept on his floor.

He snores.

By 5am I was back in my apartment, crying like a baby. If am I deprived of sleep, it’s not good. But if I am deprived of sleep on December 25th, when I also have to deal with kids the day after Christmas …. It’s fucking bad.

I talked to my boss at the center about it, and he called the building manager. But the building manager can’t get a hold of them. They won’t even answer the door.

Aside from banging on their door at 4am, I also went during the day with a Korean friend. The lady wouldn’t even open the door – she only spoke in the speakerphone, denied everything and hung up on us.

If this were back in Canada, I would just call the cops in the middle of the night.

Here in Korea, I feel like an alien, and I feel incredibly powerless. I don’t speak Korean so I can’t call the cops. My Korean co-workers are sound asleep with their family at that time. And nothing I do seems to get across my neighbors’ tiny little brain that I’m trying to sleep.

I’m going insane. I don’t want to move out again. And I can’t afford to be so tired at work. Even if I go to bed at 9pm, they wake me up in the middle of the night. I’m in hell. Ido apartments are hell.

Goodbye Oscar Peterson

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ebo12xg4ws

Observe his flying fingers, it's beautiful! Jazz pianist born in Montreal, Peterson died a day before Christmas (last Monday), at age 82. He is one of my favorite jazz musicians and he's played alongside the giants of jazz including Louis Armstrong, Count Basie, Charlie Parker, Roy Eldridge, Nat King Cole, Stan Getz, Dizzy Gillespie, Ella Fitzgerald and Duke Ellington.

This clip is entitled "goodbye" - both a very appropriate and intense piece.

New Korean President!

Yesterday was a day off for lots of people since it was election day. Guess who won with 48% of the votes? That's right: Grand National Party (GNP) Lee Myung-Bak, former Seoul mayor and successful businessman.

Lee was recently under investigation for stock manipulation and embezzlement schemes in the BBK company. He stated he knew nothing about that company - claim which was under the spot this week after the opposition party revealed a tape in which Lee states that he is proud of his achievements with BBK. Go figure!

The two previous Korean governments have put a lot of stress on Korean society - as economy and North Korea were hot issues. Koreans trust that with his business background and political experience, Lee will improve the country's economic health.

Car accidents: your phone number on a pillow

It’s part of the Korean culture shock one experiences upon arriving on the land of the morning calm: driving.

Koreans drive like crazy – yet if everyone drove this crazy it would be safe (order in chaos). But they don’t. Thus, very often, accidents occur.

In Seoul, traffic is not nearly as bad as in Mexico City, but it’s quite similar. Countless motorbikes try to make their way among the long lines of cars, often cutting in front of vehicles. And cars changing lanes, cutting off each other...

In Korea, cars park on the sidewalk. Motorcycles also drive on the sidewalk. I drive on the sidewalk. We all do it.

And if most Koreans know how to handle a stick even in the worst rush hour, a lot of them (just like back home) are slower, older or simply more careful. And accidents take place.

Another cause of car accidents in Korea (again, like in many other countries) is alcohol. As mentioned in a previous post, drinking here is incredibly cheap and accessible. You can get beer and soju from convenience stores at 2am. There’s no “11pm limit” like we have back in Quebec.

So I’ve seen a lot of car accidents here, but it’s never really affected me. That is, until last Friday.

That's Lisa's car getting towed.

My friend Lisa and I were at the teachers’ workshop and she said something about mailing some postcards later that day. I told her not to procrastinate and, after hesitating for a few minutes, she finally agreed and grabbed her car keys.

When we got to the parking lot, she said, “That’s odd. I don’t remember parking sideways.”

There was a Korean lady next to Lisa’s car and she looked mortified. Her gray sports car had two huge red scratches, some tree branches on the hood and a broken light. She looked at us with teary eyes mumbling “mianeyo” (“I’m sorry”).

We soon understood that instead of hitting the breaks when she was parking the car, she had hit the accelerator, smashed Lisa’s car, and went crashing into a tree. Was she drunk? I don’t think so. On her car it said “beginner”.

Long story short, she was driving someone else’s car so we had to wait for her friend to come over. We froze our ass outside as they called the insurance company. Indeed, in Korea you don’t call the police unless someone is injured; just call the insurance company and they will come and see for themselves.

But the lady's insurance had expired. She offered to pay for the reparation and a rental car. It took over 2 hours but finally got settled.

What I learned from this is quite simple: always leave your phone number on the dashboard inside your car.

If I hadn’t told Lisa not to procrastinate, we wouldn’t have gone to the parking lot and caught the lady a few minutes after the accident had happened. Instead, we would have been at the workshop for another 5 hours… the lady wouldn’t have waited that long. She would have just left and Lisa would have been stuck with all the reparation costs.

That’s why Koreans leave their phone number plain visible inside the car. If anyone scratches their car when no one’s inside, they can get in touch with them. It makes you wonder how often such incidents happen over here, eh!

I was told that those are very popular gifts in Korea: a boyfriend will give his girlfriend a little pillow with her phone number sewed on it. She then puts it on the dashboard and they’re both happy.


Funny thing is that I wonder: how many people will actually call the owner of a Jaguar whose car they crashed with their El Camino?

death, oranges, insomnia and the carpenters

What a day! First of all, it's December 11th - which means it's my grandmother's death anniversary. She died last year while I was in Seoul, and it's been quite a tough row to hoe.

I know it's a fact that she's not "here" anymore, but her memory remains and sometimes I want to share a funny thought with her, or just listen to her never-ending stories but... I can't. And it sucks.

There’s also this tremendous amount of guilt… you know, the “I should have…” and “I could have…”. Especially as a kid, I was so greedy and selfish, and she was all about loving and giving. She used to say she loves me as much as the universe. So did I. And let's face it, she was really funny! I miss her really badly.


Thanks to my upstairs neighbors, I am even more emotional today. Indeed, they walked in in high heels at 2am and of course that woke me up. As if this wasn’t enough, I heard them walking heavy at 4am (banging their heels as they were strolling across the room), opening and closing closets.

It lasted for almost an hour when I finally decided to go upstairs and knock on their door. No answer. I knocked louder. Nothing. I rang the doorbell. Still no one. I was so pissed by then, I just gave the door a big slap and went back to my room. It was silent for a second, and it started again.

Around 6:30am it finally stopped and I was able to get half an hour sleep before getting ready for work and hopping on the bus. I was fulminating!

As I got to school, grumpy as hell, I remembered that my ajumma class (adult women) wanted to do the Carpenters’ song “Top of the world”. Thank God that was funny cauz the music video is soooooo old and cheesy, and the women were all trying to sing along with their Korean accent!

As they were leaving, one of them gave me this huuuuge bag of gimchi and a big basket filled with oranges. The gimchi is a year-old, which means it’s simply delicious and I’m incredibly excited about it! As for the oranges, it’s the peak season now on the island so they are cheap and they are everywhere! You can get 10kg for 5 bucks!!



Oh and yesterday I sent a massive box full of Christmas gifts back home, and a small one to France, for only 40$… not even surface mail; express! Oh sweet Korea! Did I mention I froze my ass for 2 hours in a Korean cemetery last Saturday for a Kim Oksun photo shooting? The photographer is Korean and she takes pictures of foreigners in Korean settings. Her exhibit will be in Seoul this coming June. She's quite talented.

Gota go, lunch time! Yet another day on earth, hoping grandma’s in a better place indeed. Did you know that Koreans bury the dead and then add some lump of earth on top of it? If you look closely, it has some sort of human shape…

3 months already

I woke up today wondering "what’s the point of life"? Every day I get up, ride the bus for an hour, work, take the bus for another hour and finally get home around 8pm.

Then I have the choice: gym, dinner with friends or spending some time alone. I do prefer the last option since I must go to bed early in order to get up at 7am the next day. Or I go for a quick meal like delicious "modem gimbap" (vegetables, rice, beef, tuna and cheese rolled in seaweed) - which Kyle, Alicia's boyfriend, introduced me to.

But in the end, what’s the point?!

Well, hopefully my teaching English will reach some of my 60 students. Hopefully they’ll remember a few things. Hopefully they’ll speak English and be able to communicate with other human beings. That’s the beauty of such a universal language – no matter where you go, almost everyone knows a little bit of English.

But is this really the whole purpose of life? Me, teaching English? I do enjoy my week-ends – when I usually have dinner with friends on Friday nights, coupled with beers, chatting and playing pool (usually lasts until the next morning ;)

Then Saturdays I nurse my hangover, play tennis with Doug, Woody, Laurie, Amanda and cie, and teach. Sundays I generally clean my place and explore a new part of the island. Hiking is often involved - although last week-end I went Christmas shopping!


And then Monday comes again.

Maybe I’m not skilled at entertaining myself. But that’s not the point; I’m never bored! I am happy with my guitar (although I’d like to find a piano), my movies, my books and mother nature. I’ve traveled quite a bit, and I’m looking forward to going to Indonesia in February. But again, is that all there is? Maybe I’m expecting too much. Maybe I’m expecting the wrong thing.

Maybe I’m not learning when I should. Of course there are many things I should read about and become skilled at.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m super thankful I’m not a factory worker in China, but… the more we can get, the more our expectations grow, right?

I’ve been back in Korea for 3 months now and everything’s just fine. I miss home. But when I’m home I miss the world. And when I’m somewhere around the world I miss other parts of this world. We’re all eternally unsatisfied to some extend I guess.

It's all fun, but I just feel useless. And pointless.

Today the sky is gray and it’s raining a little. I wish I were outside because it smells so good. I wish I were hiking. Instead I’m trapped in this office. At least i've got a cute wooden artifact from my parents and that necklace my sister sent me from Quebec...

Dear Mr. President

Powerlessness. It is something that truly scares me– being tortured, witnessing genocide, being a passive observer as people hurt the ones you love, being trapped in a plane that is doomed to crash, having your house bombed while you’re peacefully asleep, dying in a tsunami, being homeless and a drug addict, being sentenced to death penalty for a crime you didn’t commit, and the list goes on.

I often feel deeply sad and upset while watching the news (or studying history for that matter). This world is so cruel yet so beautiful.

We all feel like we have the answer (especially when re-making the world with friends over a few beers) – yet atrocities still happen on a daily basis. And we are helpless as individuals. But we are strong as an entity.

I recently heard the song “Dear Mr. President” and thought I’d share the music clip. I personally don’t like Pink, but this one is a really good one and it features the “Indigo Girls”. Carefully listen to the lyrics.

Dear Mr. President,
Come take a walk with me.
Let's pretend we're just two people and
You're not better than me.
I'd like to ask you some questions if we can speak honestly.

What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street?
Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep?
What do you feel when you look in the mirror?
Are you proud?

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry?
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye?
How do you walk with your head held high?
Can you even look me in the eye
And tell me why?

Dear Mr. President,
Were you a lonely boy?
Are you a lonely boy?
How can you say
No child is left behind?
We're not dumb and we're not blind.
They're all sitting in your cells
While you pave the road to hell.

What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away?
And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay?
I can only imagine what the first lady has to say
You've come a long way from whiskey and cocaine.

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry?
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye?
How do you walk with your head held high?
Can you even look me in the eye?

Let me tell you 'bout hard work
Minimum wage with a baby on the way
Let me tell you 'bout hard work
Rebuilding your house after the bombs took them away
Let me tell you 'bout hard work
Building a bed out of a cardboard box
Let me tell you 'bout hard work
You don't know nothing 'bout hard work

How do you sleep at night?
How do you walk with your head held high?
Dear Mr. President,
You'd never take a walk with me.
Would you?

**Had to repost this due to some prob with utube**

Korean Presidential Elections: uuuh?

Korean Presidential elections will be held this December 19th and it is anticipated that for the first time since 1989, the winner will have support of less than 40 percent of the population. This means that Korea will see a weak president who will be elected with more than 60 percent of voters opposed to him.

A very crowded race indeed.

Furthermore, allegations of corruption, bribery as well as internal division account for the public’s hesitation. Moreover, there has been an impressive roller coaster of belief – that is, all three candidates have been contradicting themselves a great deal of times over the course of the campaign.

Has it really come to that? Opting for the lesser of three evils?

As the number undecided voters recently rose from 25% to 37% only 2 weeks before the election, polls indicate that GNP (Grand National Party) candidate Lee Myung-Bak maintains a comfortable lead (37-40 percent), followed by independent Lee Hoi-chang with about 20 percent and UNDP Chung Dong-Young with about 14 percent.

Lee Myung-Bak is a brilliant businessman and Seoul’s former mayor. He is seen as a key figure for a change of government (actual President Roh Mun-Hyun is far from being a superstar…) Lee made economy one of his top priorities and his corporate experience makes his a convincing candidate.

However, Lee was at the center of a controversy when he was accused of profiting from real estate speculation from land that he allegedly owned in an expensive area in Seoul.

Moreover, people have become critical of him as many of his comments portray him as a sexist lacking compassion for the poor. When he was mayor he displaced loads of street vendors in order to restore Cheonggyecheon– a buried stream that is now a very popular spot in Gwanghwamun.

Lee recently came under fire for saying that mothers carrying mentally disabled babies should have them aborted. He also was criticized for stating that “when you go to a massage girl (prostitute), be sure to pick up an ugly one because too many men have used the pretty ones. And the ugly girl will be grateful to you and do her best to please you." (!!!)

Lee Hoi-chang breached his promise to retire from politics and that tickled the public. It’s the third time he’s running for presidency.

Nonetheless, he is an experienced politician (former prime minister, chief justice, chairman of the Board of Audit and Inspection and chairman of the National Election Commission), known as a man of integrity and principles.

Lee bolted from the opposition party (GNP) at the final stage of the election and now presents himself and an independent candidate. He does not have a well-prepared campaign platform since his primary campaign strategy is to snatch conservative support from the candidate of the party he represented. He basically makes himself a hard-line conservative and has further alienated many moderate voters.

Finally, he’s 72 years old. Old news?

Chung Dong-Young is a television-anchor-turned politician who benefits from the support of current President Roh Mun-Yun’s followers. Chung promises to establish a transparent and corruption-free society, apparently targeting the frontrunner, who is allegedly involved in several wrongdoings.

But many people associate Chung with President Roh – who disappointed and failed a lot of supporters. Some people believe he and his party are largely responsible for the failures of the current administration. Moreover, Chung’s platform is very incoherent, or at least inconsequent and many worry about the possible burgeoning budget deficits arising out of welfare spending and massive North Korea investment plans.

Elected candidate will have to deal with hot key issues such as North Korea, but the most important one on the agenda is the economy. Koreans are getting worried about unemployment and rising prices. Moreover, reunification with North Korea would (will?) be very expensive.

Political observers have said that candidates have focused too much attention on negative campaigns in an effort to boost their popularity and this has resulted in the voters' lack of understanding of their policy visions and pledges.

So… who will you be voting for?

refs: http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/, www.koreaherald.com, www.wikipedia.com

Woody Allen

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'Everything ... about sex' (1972) - the sheep scene

Sleeper - Banana Skin

Gert Zelig

Annie Hall Scenes

Morning gym at Korean schools

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDCnQnlv2DY

I shot this video from the roof of the school I work at, around 9am. Old fashion music and some good old gym moves :) The man sounds angry but he isn't... that's just the way Koreans talk! Enjoy!